Have you heard of "I'm OK, You're OK"?

Have you heard of "I'm OK, You're OK"?

Find out about Life Positions in TA – and improve wellbeing and relationships in every part of your life.

This simple but powerful idea from Transactional Analysis helps us understand how we see ourselves and others.

There are four basic Life Positions in this really insightful concept from Eric Berne.

We all tend to operate from one of them, especially as we get older and reflect on our life journey.

🟢 “I’m OK – You’re OK”

This is the most balanced, healthy position. It’s when you believe in your own worth and see the good in others

💬 Think of someone who volunteers at a community centre – they’re calm, non-judgmental, encouraging. That’s this position in action.

🟡 “I’m OK – You’re not OK”

This can come from years of disappointment or burnout. Maybe you were a teacher or nurse and felt like others weren’t pulling their weight

💬 You might think, “I’m doing my best – why aren’t they?”

🔵 “I’m not OK – You’re OK”

Very common after big life transitions – retirement, children leaving home, or comparing ourselves on social media

💬 You might feel like others are coping better than you and start doubting yourself.

🔴 “I’m not OK – You’re not OK”

This one’s the trickiest. It can sneak in after a loss, illness, or isolation. Everything just feels flat or pointless. But here’s the good news – we can shift our mindset.

💚 Just being aware of your current life position is a brilliant first step. Then, with kindness – to yourself and others – you can move toward “I’m OK – You’re OK”

Practical tips for transforming life positions include:

🪜 setting achievable personal goals gives a sense of direction and accomplishment, fostering a more positive self-view.

🎭 practicing empathy enables a better understanding of others’ perspectives, reducing conflict and enhancing relationships

🪴 cultivating a supportive social environment to find encouragement and validation, which are essential for maintaining a healthy life position.

By integrating these strategies into daily life, we gradually shift towards the ‘I’m OK, You’re OK’ stance, leading to improved overall wellbeing and more fulfilling relationships in every part of our life.

WATCH my video Life Positions in TA the second in my mini series on TA Playlist on my YouTube channel

I am qualified and certified in Advanced Coaching – with Processes for Personal & Professional Transformation (NLP School 2024), including TA and Re-scripting, and have the TA101 Certificate.

Try some DIY 🛠️🪚Life Coaching on my YouTube channel @canalsidelifecoach and PLEASE subscribe! Thank you 😄

If you want to enjoy life coaching with a professional, start your journey with a ✴ FREE introduction call: VIDEO or VOICE your choice:

PLEASE be mindful that I am not medically trained and cannot advise on any mental or physical health conditions. Please consult a qualified expert if you need help.