Have you heard of "I'm OK, You're OK"?

Find out about Life Positions in TA – and improve wellbeing and relationships in every part of your life.

This simple but powerful idea from Transactional Analysis helps us understand how we see ourselves and others.

There are four basic Life Positions in this really insightful concept from Eric Berne.

We all tend to operate from one of them, especially as we get older and reflect on our life journey.

🟢 “I’m OK – You’re OK”

This is the most balanced, healthy position. It’s when you believe in your own worth and see the good in others

💬 Think of someone who volunteers at a community centre – they’re calm, non-judgmental, encouraging. That’s this position in action.

🟡 “I’m OK – You’re not OK”

This can come from years of disappointment or burnout. Maybe you were a teacher or nurse and felt like others weren’t pulling their weight

💬 You might think, “I’m doing my best – why aren’t they?”

🔵 “I’m not OK – You’re OK”

Very common after big life transitions – retirement, children leaving home, or comparing ourselves on social media

💬 You might feel like others are coping better than you and start doubting yourself.

🔴 “I’m not OK – You’re not OK”

This one’s the trickiest. It can sneak in after a loss, illness, or isolation. Everything just feels flat or pointless. But here’s the good news – we can shift our mindset.

💚 Just being aware of your current life position is a brilliant first step. Then, with kindness – to yourself and others – you can move toward “I’m OK – You’re OK”

Practical tips for transforming life positions include:

🪜 setting achievable personal goals gives a sense of direction and accomplishment, fostering a more positive self-view.

🎭 practicing empathy enables a better understanding of others’ perspectives, reducing conflict and enhancing relationships

🪴 cultivating a supportive social environment to find encouragement and validation, which are essential for maintaining a healthy life position.

By integrating these strategies into daily life, we gradually shift towards the ‘I’m OK, You’re OK’ stance, leading to improved overall wellbeing and more fulfilling relationships in every part of our life.

WATCH my video Life Positions in TA the second in my mini series on TA Playlist on my YouTube channel

I am qualified and certified in Advanced Coaching – with Processes for Personal & Professional Transformation (NLP School 2024), including TA and Re-scripting, and have the TA101 Certificate.

Try some DIY 🛠️🪚Life Coaching on my YouTube channel @canalsidelifecoach and PLEASE subscribe! Thank you 😄

If you want to enjoy life coaching with a professional, start your journey with a ✴ FREE introduction call: VIDEO or VOICE your choice:

PLEASE be mindful that I am not medically trained and cannot advise on any mental or physical health conditions. Please consult a qualified expert if you need help.

Feeling Blah? Reclaim your vitality

Noticing more fatigue and a general sense of "blah”? 6 things you can do to reclaim your vitality and reignite your motivation

It's a common experience as we move into autumn and winter. The light changes, temperatures drop and we spend more time indoors.

It can also be because of a time in our life that is draining emotionally. Or just because....

If you're noticing more fatigue and a general sense of blah here are 6 things you can do to reclaim your vitality and reignite your motivation:

Engage in Movement

Find your fit - Consistency is key: Enjoy 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise most days to feel better.

Spend time in nature such as walking in a park or gardening

Nourish Your Body

Fuel wisely: research trusted sources for information - address YOUR nuitritional needs

Cut back on sugary drinks, fast food and excessive amounts of processed foods

Prioritise Sleep

Create a relaxing bedtime routine: listening to calming music signals to your body it's time to wind down

Stick to a consistent sleep schedule

Manage Stress

Meditation and deep breathing help calm the mind and reduce stress

Pursuing hobbies you enjoy provides a sense of purpose and relaxation

Reconnect with Your Passions

Try something new: learn a new language join a book club take up a new sport

Volunteering in your community can provide a sense of purpose and fulfilment

Seek Support

Connect with others: Spend time with friends and family Attend local events

Join social groups

Consider professional support: Anne can help with issues contributing to lack of motivation

Remember that making sustainable lifestyle changes takes time and patience.

Watch my YouTube video: Feeling "Blah"? Reclaim your vitality

PLEASE be mindful that I am not medically trained and cannot advise on any mental or physical health conditions. Please consult a qualified expert if you need help.

I bring decades of life experience and understand how to adapt to change with resilience and optimism

I'm qualified and certified in 📜 Advanced coaching including TA rescripting, as a Life Coach, an NLP Coach and Practitioner, and in Time Line Therapy®

FREE introduction call: VIDEO or VOICE your choice: https://ui.canalsidecoach.app

Keeping going over 60

Written/Human authored by Anne Brookes

Challenges most of us face:

Health: changes in physical and mental health can make overcoming obstacles more draining

Retirement: adjusting to a new routine and missing the structure of work can be demotivating

Loss: grieving loved ones or facing a change in living circumstances can drain energy and purpose

Ageism: societal messages about ageing can make feeling down about challenges more likely (and quite often we have internalised thes, thus imposing limitiations in our thinking)

HOW to STAY MOTIVATED

Ideas and inspiration:

Focus on progress, not perfection: celebrate small wins to maintain momentum 🎈

Find a purpose: volunteer, take up a new hobby, or reconnect with old passions

Stay connected: build a strong support network of friends, family, or online communities

Embrace lifelong learning: take courses, attend workshops, or read inspiring content 📖

Prioritize self-care: get enough sleep, eat healthily, and manage stress through exercise and /or relaxation techniques

Reframe challenges: view setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow 🖼️

Celebrate resilience: acknowledge how you've overcome challenges in the past

Focus on strengths: recognize the skills and experience gained over a lifetime

Maintain a positive attitude: gratitude and optimism can fuel motivation 🚀

If you're finding some of the above hard to do, find connection in your network of friends, family, or via online communities.

Reclaim your Vitality

If you're feeling "Blah": 6 things you can do to reclaim your vitality and reignite your motivation

Have a look at How to navigate a life transition at any age

🦋 Remember it can give immediate relief to seek professional help - set up a session to talk with a life coach, or for more deep seated issues in your past, a therapist for guidance and support.

Anne is qualified and certified in 📜 Advanced coaching including TA rescripting, as a Life Coach, an 📄 NLP Coach and Practitioner, and in Time Line Therapy®